Monday, August 20, 2007

Victory is mine...for a minute.

I stood up our new doctor today. I was supposed to come in for a "swab," but, curiously, I didn't feel like it.

On the phone with the clinic last week, I questioned the necessity of said "swab." Oh, we just need to be sure you don't have gonorrhea or chlamydia, Nurse chirps. I tell Chirpy I'm quite certain that I'm not infected with an STD. She responded that she, too, was certain, and yet I still needed to come in for the necessary swabbing.

I told her the clinic's repeated attempts to get me in the stirrups was becoming suspicious.

When the alarm went off at 6 o'clock this morning, I was like, Swab? I think not. I shut it off and rolled over. E intervened.

E: Get up.

GS: zzz.

E: Get up! You have an appointment.

GS: It's 6 AM. I'm not getting up at 6 AM for a damn swab.

E: They said you need a swab. You have to get one.

GS: Why? Why must I blindly follow their commands? I refuse.

And I slept until 7:30.

So, I know, it certainly isn't interesting enough to blog about, and yet I do it regardless. Why? SEE EARLIER POST!! Despite attempts by E to thwart me, I wrestled a little dignity and control from the iron-grip of Clinic, and it feels good!

But I still have to get that fucking swab tomorrow.


Amoussou said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amoussou said...

Maternal screening — The CDC recommends screening for STDs, including gonorrhea, at the first prenatal visit in areas where the prevalence of N. gonorrhoeae is high or in women with risk factors for acquiring infection. Risk factors include: young age (<25 years), more than one sexual partner, low rates of barrier contraception use, substance abuse, and history of STDs or hepatitis. In general, there should be a low threshold for consideration of screening. A large study in Uganda found that treating pregnant women presumptively for STDs in areas where these infections are prevalent is effective in reducing the incidence of STDs in the newborn; ophthalmia neonatorum was reduced by 37 percent.

Testing should be repeated in the third trimester for women at continued risk. Repeat testing appears to be unnecessary in women with an initial negative screen and no risk factors. In one report, the absence of risk factors in the third trimester and an initially negative screen for gonorrhea and chlamydia had a negative predictive value of 99.1 percent.


Medical protocol is overtly redundant at times, this is a prime example of that. Better than having your little tiger turn out to be blind, though.

Melody said...

I had to get all of these tests done before the RE's office would agree to inseminate me. It's supposedly a state law in Indiana for anyone receiving donor gametes. I resented it too-- it's not like straight people have to get the full STD work-up before they're allowed to procreate. As lesbians our sexual practices are comparatively pretty safe, and we're not accustomed to such tests.

I get it. I still hate it.

I had to call my insurance company, too-- to make sure they were going to cover the $600 worth of tests "Hello, yeah-- I need chlamydia and gonorrhea cultures. You cover that?" You're right. There's no dignity in it. Sometimes it just helps to acknowledge the fact that you're going through way more than is reasonable and customary in the pursuit of getting knocked up-- and then you climb back into the damn stirrups.

charlotte said...

Our clinic that we left because they were so rigid wanted ME to take a blood panel even though I am not involved in ANY way with getting my wife pregnant. Um hello?

gold star said...

No shit? That is total parental monitoring and it scares me. I'm glad you left.

Trace said...

Before the HSG I had to supply a urine sample for a pregnancy test. I looked at the woman incredulously and said that we had male infertility. My husband is NOT making any guys! I can guarantee that I'm not pregnant, she was very indignant and said rather huffily that there was no way she could know that and there have been pregnancy occurances. So I peed in the cup...of course I wasn't pregnant. Sometimes they want what they want whether it's logical or not (sigh).