Friday, January 11, 2008

Best Friends Forever

Thank you for the sweet comments to my last post - she's a cutie, right?! Cysts on brain be damned, the baby looks adorable.

Name poll is over there. We got a little swept away with the primary buzz, so we decided to start a poll of our own. Vote if you're so inclined. We had the world's greatest boy names lined up, but the girl names are a little shadier, so we're happy for input.

E has - I shit you not - created an excel spreadsheet tallying the votes from this website along with votes from our friends/family. That's what the MBA is for, folks.

I've had a head cold since my recovery from New Years Eve, so I've been walking around in a foggy, mucousy stupor for the last week and a half. As much as I loathe a cold, I have a sort of fond affection for this one, because this one introduced me to a new cherished companion.


I used to flat out refuse to drink that hot, piss-colored, medicinal liquid, no matter the strength of my cold. I never understood how some nasty lemon powder mixed with water was any improvement over the old hot toddy standby.

At the start of head-cold '08, I self medicated with hot toddies. I'd make one large one in the morning and carry it around in a thermos, drinking it all day. After toppling over once from the force of a sneeze, I decided to cut back on the hot toddy regimen.

But then, on night 4 of my cold, the annual Nocturnal Non Stop Coughing Party began. (This happens to me every year: I get a cold, which eventually peters out and leaves me with a month long nocturnal cough that WILL NOT DIE. One night last year I caught E hovering over me with a pillow clutched in her hands and a wild look in her eye, necessitating my transfer to the second bedroom.)

So this year, at the first sign of the annual night-long coughing spasm, I brewed myself a hot steaming cup of Theraflu.

And lo, sleep - sweet, dreamy, didn't-move-once-until-the-alarm-went-off sleep - ensued.

I've had my cup of hot piss every night since. And I like it. Now it's a delicious lemony adventure that I look forward to all day long.

There's even a leftover cozy-warm tingle in my brain during the daytime. So what if it leaves me slightly bereft of reason? So what if I forget the word for "contagious" and instead tell anyone within arm's length not to worry, I'm no longer "infective."

This morning, my colleague with a newborn baby was talking about how the baby won't sleep in his "pack and play," but he really likes the "carrier" and the "moby." At first I blamed my Theraflu-induced dementia for not being able to understand what the shit he was talking about. But then I realized, no, I really don't know what those words mean.

So I asked. He looked at me with a mixture of pity and alarm and asked me when E was due.

I'm in a tender state, Theraflu aside, so his alarmist attitude first irritated me, but then I started to worry. Does a baby need more than a moses basket and a couple dozen diapers? Seriously, what are those things, and will I need them?


charlotte said...

you are so screwed.

shaheed said...

No. I don't know what those things are either. stop with the ultra sounds.

Nycphoenix said...

that'll answer your questions

then for NYC specific info:

Melody said...

Kid accountrements in general scare me. There's a family that lives on our block that always has a yard full of ugly plastic garishly hued toys. My worst nightmare is to end up with the same. I'm hoping to keep a very spartan nursery. Of course I have no experience here, but I don't believe you need all that crap.

MsPrufrock said...

If you don't know what a lot of those things are before the birth, you will soon after. I wouldn't worry about a crash course, as each baby is so different yours might not care at all for a bouncy chair, swing, sling, or pack and play. You don't know until you try, and it's a bit expensive to buy them all beforehand on the off chance the baby will like them. We just accumulated stuff as we went along.

Daisy said...

I sent your post to WW. She wont touch the Tflu (the wimp). I of course, drink it like water...mostly when I am sick. As far as the baby gear, get ready for the biggest love/hate relationship of your life. The shit takes over your space, is often a pain to use, and costs way too much. And that's just the car seat. I raise my glass of piss to you! Cheers, Daisy

the injector said...

theraflu is so good when a cold is creeping makes me extra happy and fuzzy and sleepy. Cheers to the lovely feelings brought on by over the counter drugs and befuddlement over child paraphernalia (stay simple)!

Becky said...

Theraflu is disgusting, and I tried like hell to use it during the Death Flu I just had. I had to choke it down (altho, I got the foul-tasting apple-cinnamon flavor. Blech). Glad you can stomach it. Maybe next time I'll try the lemon stuff.

Having a baby, and therefore baby related stuff is a bit like speaking a new language. You'll get used to it, eventually.