Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Kibosh

As much as I've enjoyed the lecturing, I must now insist that it stop.

I take issue with the insinuations that my decision regarding adoption is irresponsible and selfish for the following reasons:

A. My choice not to adopt is by no means your first indication that I'm irresponsible and selfish. And immature. Read my archives, loves. In many ways, I'm a teen aged boy. It's why you love me.

B. Secondly, it isn't in my nature to submit to humiliating and offensive procedures for the sake of acting like a responsible adult. It's part of my charm. I applaud those of you who are responsible enough to do what you have to do in order to feel secure as a family. But because there are others who choose different paths doesn't give you license to pass judgment. In other words, don't hate!

C. I've put some thought into my decision. Me, E, and Le Fetus will have the same last name. We choose to live in a socially progressive state where lots of other gay people live. So it's likely that our experiences with child care, school, and hospital visits will probably be cool. And - I'm just gonna go here - if we were to have a problem, E and I are a force to be reckoned with.

Plus I've totally beat some ass in a Taco Bell parking lot.

Just sayin'.

D. New York precedent (as is the trend nationally) is that the gestational parent is the default parent, legally. Especially when the egg donor has waived all rights to any resulting child. The gestational parent's name is on the birth certificate. E is Mom, no matter how you slice it.

E. Finally, I must insist that you not worry yourselves. I promise to impart to my daughter that I didn't simply forget to adopt her, or choose not to adopt her because I didn't love her, but only because if she got too annoying I could claim no responsibility.

So there you have it. I trust I have now completely quelled any notions that I will be an unfit parent.

I will consider posting pictures. But only if you're good.


bleu said...

Hey, no judgement here on this issue


I am still reeling from your lack of acknowledgement to the previous comments and pleas I have made regarding my dare.


p.s. now spellcheck is underlining correctly spelled words

Becky said...

I wasn't planning to lecture you, but I guess I could start...


My first son is not my husband's by biology (but sometimes I wonder how that's possible), so I'm accustomed to dealing with this stuff. Dave didn't adopt him (altho I'm sure he would) in the legal sense, but he considers him his son.

And, well, meh. Unless I die, we're all good. And if I DO die, well, I'm sure I won't care that much.

Melinda said...

Hells to the yeah. :)

First time here -- won't be my last!

gold star said...

mea culpa, bleu, you totally were the first to call me out for the extreme lazy. You, too, are a thorn in my side.

Pixie said...

Every time I come here I laugh. I know I know- its not funny really!!! But you are very entertaining. All seriousness of covered topic aside, I was feeling pretty crappy til I came for a quick read.

Thanks thanks!

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh, Gold Star. I've been telling you about hysterical "Anything Said" blog. You've captured her readership. She's Melinda. You must check her out! She should have Letterman's job.
Your Fan from the start...

bleu said...


Ode to Joy of being a thorn in your side.
You have made my day/week/month with this revelation!!!!!!

(Doing a chicken dance) I'm a thorn, in her side, yes I am, uh huh uh huh uh huh.

Almamay said...

Just found your blog and I'm enjoying it a great deal. Love your writing. Congrats to you and E.

I'm from NYC but have lived in London for the past 20 years. It is more progressive here about civil rights lesbians and gays. It makes me very cross that you even had to think about (and reject) adoption to secure the civil rights of your family.

All the best from London!

Anonymous said...

Everyone is minding manners. Photos photos!

starrhillgirl said...

I'm being good! Pictures, please. Please?

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Anonymous said...

I feel "dumped". You aren't coming back?