Next week is E's 15 week OB appointment. This is maybe the most bizarre milestone yet. She is officially in her second trimester. I cannot overcome the feeling of disbelief that she is pregnant and our life has transitioned from trying to get E pregnant to her actually experiencing pregnancy.
I feel a bit lost in the woods sometimes. I think because she is just beginning to show, and it has been so many weeks since we had confirmation that all is well, it's difficult to entirely release myself to the idea of parenthood. Holy uncharted territory, batman.
A friend has told me that it may feel more real when we know the sex. I've heard conflicting reports on whether or not the sex will be visible at 15 weeks.
It is endlessly thrilling to wonder at the sex; and also, like Charlotte said recently, it feels crazy luxurious.
E recently decided she hopes it is a girl. This is classic for reasons disclosed below.
I would prefer a boy. Not because I'm into sports and stuff. In fact, I sort of hate playing sports. I have a major block about partaking in activities at which I suck. I HATE to suck at things, so much, in fact, that I'll avoid doing them at all costs. Softball? Suck. Won't do it. Football? Can't throw a decent spiral for shit. Won't do it. Golf? I will curse, then beat the earth with my leaden club. I loathe it. Because I suck.
So, if we had a son, I would totally shirk the required Saturday afternoons of "playing catch," and I'd likely show up with a buzz and a flask if I had to go to a bunch of Little League games.
But before you think I'm a lump of sodden potato fermenting on the couch, know that there are sports at which I excel. I know how to ride horses. And I rock - hard - at Badminton. How hot is that?
And if Rough-Housing and Horsing-Around count as sports, then I would be Champion of the Universe. Actually, I have been known to be such a starship shenaniganster that I have developed a reputation for unintentionally riling up other people's pets. I can't help it. It is my sheer enthusiasm for messing around that radiates from me and infects unassuming nearby animals. Dogs and horses alike respond to my presence by Acting Fresh.
One of my all-time favorite activities is riding a high-strung horse on a windy day adjacent to a corn field. Whee!
E stifles this aspect of my personality. She is the Anti-Horser-Arounder. She quashes my revelries with the dog with stern shouting, furrowed eyebrows, and a well-aimed pointer finger. In response, I call out that my spirit will not be broken and we, dog and human renegades, depart for the park across the street.
So if E has a boy, it would totally be two against one on the tomfoolery front.
In any case, the Chinese Fertility Calendar, in which I am a big believer, tells us that lentil is a boy. Mystery solved. Unless you consider the "mother" to be the egg donor. In that case, lentil is a girl. Mystery unsolved.
Again, hark! the luxury. I love that this is a total mystery. Part of me doesn't want to know at all, because somehow I feel like knowing the sex will suddenly make the reality of impending parenthood a bit more of the Crashing About My Head variety. For some reason having the ability to picture the kid as a boy or a girl magnifies the image of said child talking ceaselessly into my ear.
But as things stand now, I'm doing really well with our kid...lemon-sized and silent, you know.
I wonder if my powers of spreading hyperactivity will permeate E's womb.
photo credit.
5 comments:
It seems like what we did with the daughter was pretty rare, especially in the fertility blogosphere. We chose not to find out Kiddo's gender.
We picked a gender-neutral first name, chose two gendered middle names and reveled in the not-knowing. One slight problem in all of this? We were both so sure it was a boy that we refused to consider the whole 50/50 chance thing.
Since I mentioned that Kiddo is a daughter, her gender was a huge surprise. One that we look back and so fondly, asking each other, "How could we have wanted a boy?"
That said, the main reason we wanted a boy was for the ease of dressing them. We both dress like teenage boys... talk about hand-me-down possibilities!
Either way, congratulations on the luxury of the unknown... at least until the scan.
Your energy penetrating the womb? No doubt in the world. Boy or girl, Little Lentil will probably be born pulling on breeches and heading to the barn. Maybe an equestrian like you who can SING like E. You better both get a second job.
you're funny
It's such an amazingly exciting time, isn't it? There is nothing like it (and TRUST ME, I make THE WORST pregnant woman possible. So for me to wax poetic is almost absurd.) in the world. It's so much fun imagining what your child will be like (even after you determine the sex).
I had two completely different pregnancies, and despite my conviction that #2 was a girl, he is absolutely 100% boy.
I can't wait to hear what you two are having. Seriously, this is so exciting to me.
My favorite post, to date. You are radical!!
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