Thursday, September 6, 2007

Green Eggs and Qi

Doctor this AM. How many eggs? "Plenty." Whatever that means.
They think I'll be ready sooner than Monday...probably Sunday instead.

So now that we're almost to retreival #2, let's relive the fun of #1. Back in June, when they measured my follicle sizes the day before trigger, there were a smattering of 12s, several 16-18s, and a couple of 20s. Dr. Inappropriate estimated he'd get 10 - 12. That sounds pretty good, we thought.

Ah, the young and naive.

He retreived 7, and 2 were immature. We did ICSI, and all 5 fertilized. But my eggs were bent. Our embryos were crappy. We put in 2 of "pretty good" quality, and 1 of "shitty" quality. The other 2 clearly took after me, as they were only seen sagging about in their petri dish and dividing wanly before the embryologist gave them a scorching look of disdain and scrapped them.

The rest is history. The 3 we put in didn't stick around. They didn't even try. There was no grabbing on and clinging for a second (ohmygodyouguysmyarmsaresoweak!) before dropping off into the abyss (wheee!).

Aside from the very serious and concerned expression Dr. Inappropriate plastered on his face while giving us the news, there was no real explanation for why my eggs were weird looking. My FSH is normal and all that junk.

I told E it's because they keep trying to force their little round egg bodies into sperms.

My Lovely Accupuncturist told me my vegetarian diet was not affording my eggs enough protien to grow properly, and that I needed to kick up the tofu intake. She claims that every vegetarian she's treated through IVF had bent eggs until they got a solid 40 grams of protien a day. I thought I was a good vegetarian (I don't love carbs) but cramming 40 gs of protien is no joke. That shit is hard.

So I've tried to be good, but these drugs have killed my appetite, so these last few days my eggs have grown from a steady diet of Reses Pieces that I choke down every afternoon (5 gs protien in a little bag!). Good vegetarian, goooooood vegetarian.

And the accupuncture. E and I find needles loathsome (especially after our many encounters with them) and were not looking forward to loads more of them. Well, my tune changed straightaway after I started with Lovely Accupuncturist. I heart her. She taps those needles right into my qi and I get this hugely heavy painful pressure that just blisses me out. She's like a sadist I hire to spank me.

Anyway, hopefully these measures will help my eggs grow into nice, round, female-identified ova. We'll find out soon enough.

Stay tuned.

4 comments:

Dis said...

Reese's Pieces for protein. ET would be proud :-D
Good luck plumping those eggs up!

Melody said...

Female-identified ova. Good stuff.

Until we did IVF and found out that my eggs really are complete and total crap, I just assumed that they were as lesbian as I am--they were putting up the man-deflection shields.

charlotte said...

I'm rooting for some plump ass chipper eggs. Eggs who are go getters. Eggs with ambition. Eggs who love life. Yes.

nycphoenix said...

Love the sadist comment!

I once described stimming as having the slave driver from Ben Hur show up and whip my ovaries while screaming "ROW ROW YOU MANGY REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS"!

Good luck!