Monday, November 26, 2007

Spawn of the Wolf Mother

Since my last post (to which some of you revealed you were also Geminis) I've conducted further investigations into the weird and wonderful world of the Gemini. And guess what? I discovered that what I initially thought was an affectionately agreeable attitude towards the Gemini could actually be perceived as a full blown fetish. I ADORE GEMINIS.

Several of those on my Most Favorite People list are Geminis. This is probably true because they are 1. notorious conversationalists -- let's face it, borderline "talkers," and 2. outlandishly intelligent, often bordering on brilliant.

And who, may I ask, doesn't love a brilliantly witty talker?? I love talkers if they're funny and interesting, and damn, Geminis are bizarre and hilarious. And I'm a Libra so I get along with everyone anyway, so set me up with a Gemini in a good mood and I'm happy as a pig in shit, as my dad would say.

ANYWAYZ, I bring all this up because of two things.

1. E is 13 weeks pregnant today. Does this get weirder and weirder or what? I am increasingly mystified by her pregnancy. How do bodies do this shit?

2. We got our nuchal fold scan results, which were outrageously good. 1: >10,000 for all three genetic abnormalities.

These two facts make us feel like Everything Is Going Our Way. Everything about this pregnancy has kicked ass, from E's sky high beta numbers to the unveiling of ONE little beating embryo, to the awesome results of the nuchal fold. And we all know that when Everything Goes Your Way, at some point, Things Will No Longer Go Your Way. It has something to do with physics.

So, of course, because this is what 3 years of Draconian education, one motherfucker of an exam and $150,000 of educational debt will get you, I attempt to rationally deduce at what point in time things will go wrong again.

It has occurred to me on more occasions than I'd care to admit that I'm afraid our child will be the spawn of evil.

My rational mind reminds me of the sheer number of evil spawn that exist in NYC, and I automatically must consider the likelihood of our child joining those ranks. For example, I saw one on the subway this weekend. It was like the Aryan Damien Thorn. And I was afraid. To be fair, the subway is jammed with the freaks and hos of this great metropoblitz. BUT STILL.

And then, of course, there is the small small worry we both still have, but mostly E, that it won't make it all the way. And that is a scarier thought.

So I've decided that the radical betas and the excellent nuchal fold is not about Things Going Our Way, and instead because our fetus is a Gemini-in-waiting. It's just that wicked smart already. It is likely our beautiful, A+ embryo, and it has basically been kicking ass and taking names since its petri-dish days.

So everyone better stand back, because it's gonna have some shit to say.


vee said...

With worries like that, don't, whatever you do, read We Need to Talk About Kevin. Just don't.

starrhillgirl said...

As a fellow Libra, I won't get into the wonder of Gemini's discussion, but, from the nurture side of the argument, I think it's plain to see that *your* kid will be kicking ass and taking names from the get-go. And shit to say? YOUR kid? Lord. All I can say is get ready.

owl said...

um...i am sure other people think my child is spawn of the devil Some because she is the daughter of those GAY type people. Others because sometimes she is THAT kid on the train or THAT kid in the supermarket. The funny thing is i think she is perfect and would not have her any other way (although it would be nice if she didn't throw things at relatives we only see very six months!)
So don't fear getting devil spawn, because you won't know it if s/he is, only those around you will!

Kierce said...

devon is a gemini

sfsueny said...

not to further complicate your musings...but you are having your baby in the Year of the Rat...which is the FIRST year in Chinese astrology...and very auspicious. I will tell you more about your Gemini/Rat - but you only need to know that high intelligence, a talkative nature & extremely attractive are all traits of this pairing. love from your Sagittarian/Boar friend & her fluffy puppy.

bleu said...

Hey GS you are pretty witty there yourself.

Becky said...

Can't wait to make the babe's acquaintance. I'm pretty sure that at one point or another, ALL kids are the spawn of satan.

charlotte said...


Anonymous said...

oh yeah...a year of the rat baby. lucky kid. I hope i have one too.

Anonymous said...

Update and photo or two.